Tactics
by ncfan
Summary: His only hope now was to throw himself on the mercy of the court. Though, judging by the way the one man "Court" was glowering at him, he was probably screwed. Isshin sighed. He knew he shouldn't have come in through the window.


**Characters**: Isshin, Ryuuken**  
Pairings**: a reference to KisuYoru**  
Warnings/Spoilers**: None, apart from general spoilers for the Arrancar arc, which essentially consists of these two characters knowing each other at all.**  
Timeline**: Pre-manga**  
Disclaimer**: I don't own Bleach.

* * *

It was only a matter of insanely good luck that Isshin had managed to get his hands on the address in the first place, and an even more fortuitous coincidence that Ryuuken apparently didn't lock his windows at night.

Appropriately for that time of night, all was dark in the small apartment. Pitch black in fact, to the point that Isshin couldn't see his hand in front of his face and was hard-pressed not to be bumping into furniture and hard edges every time he took a step forward. Judging by the fact that his shoes were hitting a hard surface, Isshin supposed he was probably in the kitchen.

Isshin knew he'd be alright if he kept quiet, he reasoned with himself. He'd just have to wait until morning.

Of course, all thoughts pertaining to that nature were quickly wiped out by the metallic clang of something flat and cold crashing across the back of Isshin's skull. Hard.

Isshin let out a scream of pain as he hit the cold stone floor. He heard a rush of air, which meant that whatever had been used to hit him was being raised for another blow; Isshin raised his arms over his head protectively. "STOP! STOP!"

At that moment, the light flicked on.

And Isshin looked up and smiled nervously at the person standing over him.

It was a cast-iron frying pan that had collided with the back of Isshin's skull; said frying pan was tightly clenched in the grip of one of the only humans that Isshin, still new to the living world, actually knew. And said human was looking down at him like he was some sort of poisonous viper.

Ryuuken's glasses were slipping down the bridge of his nose unevenly, which only served to make him look even more frazzled than he already appeared. He looked tired, eyes bloodshot, though it was apparent that he hadn't been sleeping.

"Kurosaki?" Isshin could tell he was getting angry and flinched. "What the hell are you doing at my apartment—" Ryuuken's eyes darted towards the clock on the wall, and his voice rose to an uneven shout "—_at two in the morning?_"

Isshin got to his feet, rubbing the back of his head and feeling his pulse start to go back to normal when Ryuuken put the frying pan on the kitchen counter. "So," he probed, voice slow and tentative, uncomfortably aware of the way the younger of the two men was glaring at him, "I guess you recognized my voice or something."

"No." Ryuuken folded his arms across his chest, eyes narrowing. "I recognized your reiatsu. I considered hitting you a few more times, until I realized that I had no idea what I would do with the body." Isshin prayed he wasn't being serious; Ryuuken's flawless deadpan muddied the waters considerably. "Now, _really._ What are you doing here?"

Isshin sucked in a deep breath, and prepared to take the plunge. "I need a place to stay."

Ryuuken's response was immediate. "Get out," he said flatly.

A delay tactic was needed. "I don't know where the door is."

"What do you mean, you don't know where the door is? How'd you get in, then?"

Isshin found himself pointing towards the open window.

"Ah." Ryuuken pushed his glasses back up his nose and sighed. "Remind me to lock my windows in future." He put a hand under the crook of Isshin's elbow and started to drag him out of the kitchen. "Come on."

"Please, Ishida!" Isshin pleaded with him. "I haven't got anywhere else to go! Long-term assignment in Karakura Town doesn't provide room and board."

"I thought you were staying with Urahara-san." They were standing at the front door now; Isshin could see some of Ryuuken's college textbooks piled on the coffee table, and took a guess that he had interrupted a late-night cram session.

Rubbing his forehead, Isshin sighed and prepared to sacrifice his dignity. His only hope now was to throw himself on the mercy of the court. Though, judging by the way the one-man "court" was glowering at him, he was probably screwed. And from what little Isshin knew of Ryuuken, he got the impression that throwing himself on _his_ mercy was probably a pretty good way of getting himself killed.

Ah, well. Isshin supposed he could probably get out of the line of fire before Ryuuken reacted. "Okay, here it is." His face was tinged red now. "Yeah, I was staying with Urahara, but one day, I opened a door before knocking, and well… It got pretty uncomfortable after that."

Ryuuken seemed decidedly unimpressed.

_Okay. Another tactic._

Isshin tilted his head to one side. "Look. I mean it; I don't have anywhere else to go. I don't like sleeping outside, and even I'll admit that it's pretty inappropriate to be asking your little girlfriend—" his lip curled in a hint of a smile as Ryuuken glared at him at the word "girlfriend" "—if I can stay with her. Please? I promise I won't break anything."

It was a tense moment, before Ryuuken rolled his eyes and shook his head. He waved his hand dismissively. "Fine," he muttered reluctantly. "The couch pulls out; there's a pillow and blankets in that closet." He pointed towards the hall.

"Thanks!" Isshin grinned.

"Whatever." Ryuuken started down the hall. "I'm only doing this because I know where you would have gone next, Sayuri's too good-natured to throw you out, and I'm not about to subject her to prolonged exposure to you. Now," he murmured, "I am going to try to get some sleep before class tomorrow. If you wake me up, you'll be going back to Soul Society in a matchbox."

"You'd have to catch me first," Isshin shot back.

The creak of a door from down the hall was heard. "Yeah, sure. Oh, and, Kurosaki? If my landlord comes in here, you're going straight into the closet."

* * *

I couldn't resist taking a jab at Rukia's prolonged stay in Ichigo's bedroom closet.


End file.
